You Will Do It AgainWed 20 August 2003 ⁄⁄ 12:03 AM

Wow. Staying up late last night and getting up early today was the straw that broke me—I was basically all nerves and caffeine at work today. I wasn't exactly getting paranoid, but my thought processes became more and more unusual as the day progressed. Good thing that I was doing all kinds of new, unfamiliar things today. Ugh.

The worst part of it was that the meeting (i.e. the reason I woke up early) wasn't worth my pain at all. The biggest news that came out of it was that (as I had predicted) one of our coworkers was no longer with us. This came as quite a shock, as that coworker hadn't shown up for the last week and a half.

The other worst part of it was that, right as I was ready to sneak out the door at 4:00 pm, my office manager popped up and sprung a two-hour project on me. I was forced to shell out sixty cents for a can of Mountain Dew (as if I didn't have enough problems today already) to keep me awake long enough to finish the job.

Office Manager: Fuyutsuki, go get Brent.

Fuyutsuki: Can...can we use him?

Office Manager: He's not dead yet. [pause] Brent?

Brent: Yes?

Office Manager: The help is unusable. You will do it again.

Brent: Fuck.

I don't recall too much of the evening, since I passed out on the couch soon after getting off of work. When I woke up, I wandered upstairs to find the TV tuned to CMT and featuring three of the worst commercials I've ever seen back-to-back. The first was for a "heavy" instant-food-product that made the store shake every time the stock boy put a box on the shelf. (Get it? Heavy?) The second featured two women running in front of a blue-screened rapidly approaching roast chicken in a pan, screaming "OMG OMG teh chizicken si stuckzor to the pan!!!111" The solution, surprisingly enough, wasn't to attack the malfeasant fowl with a chainsaw (as I had first suspected)—it was some new non-stick wrapping product. The third, and by far the shortest, ad featured a little boy kicking a clown in the crotch, followed by white on black text: "Do your part." (Okay, so I've already forgotten the actual contents of the third ad. I assure you, however, that it was bad.)

CMT then returned to some Toby Keith mini-marathon and played "Who's Your Daddy?," which was a surprisingly catchy tune (not too frequently do I come across a male country artist who I can listen to without clawing at my ears) married to a surprisingly funny music video (right at the top).

In other news, Apple supposedly began shipping single-processor G5 machines yesterday. So far, nobody seems to have actually seen one in real life. Ah well...soon, soon. Nice-looking box, though.

 

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