I Quit, but

That Big Temper that I’ve alluded to (and, if you’re lucky, that you’ve never seen) made an appearance today, after lying dormant for the last year or two. I tried working, and just got more and more irritated for no real reason (outside Tuesday’s news, that is). Then Marin came over and commented that Debbie, a gal from the support team we’ve hired to assist us with the new billing program, seemed to be busy quite a bit whenever Marin called—including the latest attempt just a moment ago. A few weeks earlier Debbie had been “already out of the office for the day” when Marin called, yet was there just fine when Sarah called a moment later…so I decided that I’d call Debbie today. Oddly enough, she was there and free when I called and introduced myself to the secretary.

I let her have it.

Once I had handed the phone to Marin, Laura poked her head over the half-wall and made some comment about never having heard me swear before. I looked her straight in the eye, and then let loose with the standard cuss words. I then went to the time clock to clock out.

After trying to calm down in the break room, I went to my office manager and told her that I was quitting. She asked for my resignation in writing, so I (to give me a little time to be slightly diplomatic in how I wrote my resignation) went home and typed something up. I returned to the office, and ran into Marin before I found my office manager; Marin dragged me home a second time to let me really calm down.

I don’t know. Marin had chatted with the office manager while I was typing my letter, and…I guess this was supposed to be a sort-of kind-of promotion. I don’t know; it really felt like I had been slapped in the face. My office manager didn’t want me to quit, and later the boss called me and let me know he feels similarly. I get to chat with him more tomorrow. In some ways I feel bad, because my boss and office manager are some of the best people at my work—and I didn’t make today nice for them. (I know that might read oddly, considering what happened Tuesday, but…office dynamics are rather complicated.)

I keep identifying with Shinji throughout this experience. (Already I tend towards being antisocial and using a portable music device to separate myself from reality.) Today would either be episode four, when Shinji runs away but is brought back, or episode sixteen-ish where Shinji quits after watching Toji be attacked, but then returns when he realizes that he has the ability to do something.

The one thing that I do know is that everybody dies at the end of the story, and I’m not so keen on that.

 

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