You Will Do It Again

Wow. Staying up late last night and getting up early today was the straw that broke me—I was basically all nerves and caffeine at work today. I wasn’t exactly getting paranoid, but my thought processes became more and more unusual as the day progressed. Good thing that I was doing all kinds of new, unfamiliar things today. Ugh.

The worst part of it was that the meeting (i.e. the reason I woke up early) wasn’t worth my pain at all. The biggest news that came out of it was that (as I had predicted) one of our coworkers was no longer with us. This came as quite a shock, as that coworker hadn’t shown up for the last week and a half.

The other worst part of it was that, right as I was ready to sneak out the door at 4:00 pm, my office manager popped up and sprung a two-hour project on me. I was forced to shell out sixty cents for a can of Mountain Dew (as if I didn’t have enough problems today already) to keep me awake long enough to finish the job.

Office Manager: Fuyutsuki, go get Brent.

Fuyutsuki: Can…can we use him?

Office Manager: He’s not dead yet. [pause] Brent?

Brent: Yes?

Office Manager: The help is unusable. You will do it again.

Brent: Fuck.

I don’t recall too much of the evening, since I passed out on the couch soon after getting off of work. When I woke up, I wandered upstairs to find the TV tuned to CMT and featuring three of the worst commercials I’ve ever seen back-to-back. The first was for a “heavy” instant-food-product that made the store shake every time the stock boy put a box on the shelf. (Get it? Heavy?) The second featured two women running in front of a blue-screened rapidly approaching roast chicken in a pan, screaming “OMG OMG teh chizicken si stuckzor to the pan!!!111” The solution, surprisingly enough, wasn’t to attack the malfeasant fowl with a chainsaw (as I had first suspected)—it was some new non-stick wrapping product. The third, and by far the shortest, ad featured a little boy kicking a clown in the crotch, followed by white on black text: “Do your part.” (Okay, so I’ve already forgotten the actual contents of the third ad. I assure you, however, that it was bad.)

CMT then returned to some Toby Keith mini-marathon and played “Who’s Your Daddy?,” which was a surprisingly catchy tune (not too frequently do I come across a male country artist who I can listen to without clawing at my ears) married to a surprisingly funny music video (right at the top).

In other news, Apple supposedly began shipping single-processor G5 machines yesterday. So far, nobody seems to have actually seen one in real life. Ah well…soon, soon. Nice-looking box, though.

 

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