Math and sex don’t mix

If you have $2.25, a copy of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and a handful of video games (namely Twinkle Star Sprites and Soul Calibur II), you can have an entertaining evening. Provided that you have friends that are game, of course.

It’s not really the type of thing that anyone who wasn’t involved would find interesting, however.

Perhaps of more interest is the disc golf variant I learned of this afternoon, which is: play four holes of disc golf, and then go make out with an attractive girl. The guy who played ahead of Brian and me (at least through hole four) appeared to be playing under those rules, and it definitely looked more fun than the game I’ve been playing the last couple of years.

During this game I also introduced Brian to the concept of the whore score, which is supposedly equal to the number of people you’ve been intimate with, divided by the number of years since you became sexually active. The interesting thing about this idea (if you’re a math graduate, or just interested in math) is that your score starts out undefined (remember, 0/0 is dangerous territory) until you have sex, and then jumps up (effectively to infinity) the instant of first intercourse. As time passes, that score will drop until you have another sexual partner, at which point it will jump up some, and then start dropping again.

The lesson from all of this: unless you are luckier than is physically possible (and this said by the lone male who traveled across Europe with twenty college-age females—and, no, you needn’t get any ideas about randy times had), you’ll never be more whorish than the instant you first have sex.

Actually, this might be a great way to discourage underage sex: if the infinite whore score doesn’t scare ’em away, the fact that sex can be linked to math (however tangentially) might. Hah. [The people who wind up at this blog as a result of search terms found in this entry might also scare me away from this topic for all eternity, as well. Time will tell.]


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

powered by wordpress