Keep this one quiet

The reason Brian and I needed copies of Soul Calibur III, for what it’s worth, is that Andy is having a Halloween party at his place this weekend. (Sidenote: there apparently will be a carved-out pumpkin with a tap there: a “pumpkin keg,” if you will.) We’ve been instructed, as a sort of pre-party thing, to use the character-creation abilities of the game to craft our favorite characters, so we may face off with our creations.

The only way you can really get an edge with a custom character—face it—is by somehow causing your opponent psychological anguish. Andy succeeded in this by telling me of his first plan, which was to create Motoko Aoyama (my favorite character from Love Hina) and defeat me with her. [Pics of her from the manga—she was made extremely ugly in the anime, IMO—are hard to come by; this cheap crop job is the best I’ve been able to do in the last couple minutes.] Now that the damage to me is done, he’s graciously letting me build her.

I had no idea how I was going to get Andy back for that, though. And then Brian played “random create-a-character” against me this evening, and lightning struck. It’s so perfect, and the name tells it all: No Pants Man.

The only thing worse than fighting against No Pants Man, it turns out, is losing to No Pants Man. Brian turned my vision into reality, and we wound up with a dancer who wields a tambourine and frickin’ dances around the screen when he wins a battle. I must emphasize that he is not wearing pants while he does this.

No Pants Man is much like a good speech: the name in the character select screen gives your opponent a good idea of what’s coming (“Oh no, you didn’t…”), the battle just confirms his/her worst fears, and then his dancing around after a victory reinforces the fact one last time. I can say with complete certainty that No Pants Man is as psychologically damaging a character as will ever be created.

I can’t wait for this weekend.

 

4 Responses to Keep this one quiet

 
  1. Brian says:

    Here’s one for the ages: how can someone like me have been so thoroughly bored by dress-up dolls and such all throughout his childhood, yet be so thoroughly entertained by Dress-Up Soul Calibur? The sadistic delight of creating No Pants Man alone is insufficient to explain this.

  2. GreyDuck says:

    You want sad? I picked up the City of Villains preorder AND Soul Calibur III on the same shopping trip.
    Dress-up dolls for boys, indeed.

  3. Brian says:

    Yes, I enjoyed Final Fantasy X-2 as a subversive allegory of nihilism in the wake of a breakdown in religious institutions… *cough*
    Regular readers of this space who await further details of our trip to Japan can, for an arbitrary length of time, check out a small handful of pictures on my web site, http://showcase.netins.net/web/bdb/ . There you will also find a couple of pictures from Brent’s and my trip to visit Craig at the end of May. Enjoy!

  4. Brent says:

    Ah, but what good are pictures without the *story* behind them?
    …yeah, I shouldn’t be the one saying that. I’ll get on those write-ups, really.
    Oh, and you certainly have some nerve to post a good deal of my pictures on your site and then advertise it on my site. (Hint: if Brian’s in the pic, he didn’t take it. =P) Damn, B.

 

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