I had the misfortune of having to interact with a patent attorney today. The guy was so sleazy, I honestly did (just as the saying goes) want to take a shower afterwards—and this whole interaction took place over the phone. He literally had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.

In short—when he wasn’t avoiding taking any sort of position whatsoever—he advocated a “grab the money” strategy that involved deliberately screwing over people. You leave yourself an out somewhere in the agreement, so it’s OK.

Here’s my official response to his idea: fuck that.

How in the world did we let the lawyers create a system where we need their services precisely because of what they do? And, more importantly, why do I keep getting selected for jury duty? That’s also because of what they do.