Going to extremes

Last week the new apartment managers posted a notice on each apartment’s door. Under threat of with-cause eviction, we were informed that we should not:

– prop open any doors

– allow visitors to follow us through any keyfob-secured doors

– litter

– have a party, or participate in a party, that disturbs the peace

While I understand (and appreciate!) the desire to keep the apartments safe, clean, and quiet, the whole idea of not holding a door open for people is pretty much counter to basic human decency.

The notice then started waxing eloquent:

Let us remind each of you, there are security cameras in every hallway and underground parking lot that run 24/7, if we are able to identify tenants committing any of the above acts we will issue these tapes to the police and fully persecute within the limits of the law.

I’m a big fan of persecution within legal limits.

[The management group] and the property owner wish to provide each and every tenant the safest possible place to live within our power, if evicting tenants from the premises that do not wish to follow these simple rules is what we have to do, this we will proceed.

Run-on sentences rule. I also appreciate how the last sentence tries to get poetic while still shedding the restrictive bonds of grammar.


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