Waving the white flag

I’m surrounded by huge messes. Things to recycle litter my kitchen; my desk is crammed full of things that need to find a new home; I routinely walk on a pile of cardboard that I’m too tired to drag down to be recycled. Even my computer is a bloody nightmare: I have more files on my desktop (all of which require some sort of attention) than I care to think about—and I have more files on my laptop that need to be reintegrated with my desktop. My refrigerator is practically empty, as is my cupboard.

I’ve been too exhausted to do anything about these things, no matter how early I go to bed nor how late I wake up. (I must really be short sleep.)

My folks were in Hawaii last week (yes, the earthquake made it a different sort of vacation for them), so I had dog- and house-sitting duties. Juggling Yoshi with waiting for various deliveries, the monthly office meeting, and whatnot wound up being a rather big struggle, and left me physically drained. The first ballroom dance of the academic year was held during that week—and while I attended, I spent more time trying to stay awake than actually dancing. Sacrilege!

[One of the few bright spots of the last week has been the result of one of those deliveries I waited for: I now have a kitchen table. It’s a revolution in dining technology!]

Work was fun this last week as well, as I heard about the latest soul-destroying machinations that have occurred behind-the-scenes. This week is the next round of debate-the-value-of-my-work with my boss, which has added another dab of stress on top of the fact that my life is in shambles.

Sometimes I honestly believe that things would have been better if I never built my program and my office was allowed to continue on its trajectory towards destruction. Certain higher-ups would then have had to face their failings (or, at least, the fact that they did fail) head-on, for once.

I think those thoughts, and then I realize that I’m pretty much talking about burning the world to purify it. As in, bad-guy logic.

 

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