Whither Brent?

It’s been a long time
We shouldn’t have left you
Without a dope beat to step to

—Aaliyah, “Try Again”

Seems that when you stop writing for a while, it feels weird to start up again. Really weird. Also, it’s hard to argue that you need to start writing again when it seems like you don’t have enough time to get done all the basic activities of life.

Also, kittens do not help you free up time. At all.

I have it on reliable authority (my Yotsuba&! daily calendar) that it’s now 2008. The new year finds me paradoxically conflicted: I am rooted yet adrift, satisfied yet not. It’s hard to argue, owning (a small yet ever-growing fraction of) a house, that I’m not tied down a bit. My job continues, and is generally enjoyable; I’m still dancing, and it’s still a powerful force in keeping me sane.

The real problem is that I’m not growing. I want to learn Ruby on Rails, but for whatever reason haven’t actually done so. For all the dancing I do, my movelist (I still think of dancing in video-game terms) remains stagnant; meanwhile, my dance friends—at least, the ones that remain in the current school cycle—have continued to gain ground. My math skills have atrophied, probably back to pre-college levels, and my memory of business topics is rapidly approaching nil. Pretty much the only thing that has been growing has been my bitterness and cynicism… not exactly what one hopes for.

No matter what I try, it seems I can only do justice to one thing at a time: exercise, work, or home (for lack of a better word) maintenance. As I appear to be unable to balance the three, I’m constantly shorting two to get a leg up on the third… and nobody likes to constantly feel like they’re drowning. It’s hard to read a book, learn a programming language, or whatnot, when there are more pressing issues to address. Maslow’s hierarchy has some merit.

This leads to the real-real problem: my time-management skills blow chunks. When I’m on the clock I have no problem being on task and getting things done; when I’m off the clock, everything takes a small eternity to accomplish. I’m almost certain that better time management would result in a healthier, happier me. Perhaps I should break out that GTD book again.


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